Have you ever seen a movie in which the main actor goes to prison, is bullied or beaten by a group of old inmates, but eventually becomes the prison’s ruler? I bet you have.
Typically, the older prison inmates believe that the new prisoner must submit to them. They establish rules, habits, and structures. The new prisoner is expected to obey them, even if the rules, habits, and structure are unfair, do not make sense, or even abusive.
When a new prisoner refuses to obey, there are consequences. It ranges from low-risk actions such as alienating the new prisoner to high-risk actions such as slandering him in order to give them an excuse to beat him. This incident can continue for a long time, until the new prisoner surrenders and submits to the old inmates.
When the main actor is supposed to be the hero, the film usually continues by depicting the new prisoner’s annoyance and desire to rebel against the older inmates. The new prisoner eventually wins after many fights, some of which may be fierce. He then becomes the prison’s ruler.
It’s strange that I remember this scene while reflecting on what happened to me in some offices. Perhaps the comparison is overly harsh or extreme. However, I believe it is quite similar, with the exception of the desire to dominate.
When I joined several new offices, some people tried hard to convince me that they were much more senior than me, as if “I came to this office a long time ago. You’re a rookie. I know everything.” Sometimes they conveyed the message to me through actions. As a newcomer, I simply need to understand the message.
When I was younger, this type of activity suffocated me. I was very afraid. Nervous. I behaved like a new prisoner. There was a time when I was extremely stressed because I didn’t know how to deal with it, especially when I discovered that some of what they did or said was not true or good from a professional standpoint. Because of the stress, I used to be ill and depressed. This happened to me while working for various companies and institutions.
As time passed, I realized that there could be some underlying reasons for those people’s behavior. First, they may see the newcomer as a competitor. The newcomer could be a competitor vying for the boss’s attention or gaining fans among colleagues and partners. The main message from this situation is usually “Do not act smarter or better than me.”
Another reason could be that the other colleagues simply want to show off their power and influence. Sometimes in meetings, they talk about irrelevant topics to send a message, such as “I know much better than you,” or “I have a close relationship with the boss.”
Now, after working for more than 25 years and witnessing such incidents in some institutions, I can smile understandingly when I receive the same message. This whole drama is fine with me as long as it doesn’t interfere with my work or performance. My smile fades as I realize the drama has interrupted my performance. When some people’s arrogance begins to disrupt my work, I believe they have already crossed professional boundaries.
Both in the film and at work, the strategy is nearly identical: demonstrate that we know what we’re doing and that our expertise is not theirs. The second message would be, “We only want to work.” There’s no time for office drama. This is when we have to show our abilities and experience. We must perform a series of actions to demonstrate our qualities and values, just as the new prisoner does in his fights. It will undoubtedly take time, but doing so consistently and with high quality will demonstrate to them that we are not inexperienced.
By demonstrating that my sole intention is to contribute to the company’s/program’s success and consistently demonstrating that I can do so, I hope to gain the trust of my colleagues. Gaining the trust of your coworkers and ‘beating’ those who dislike you by demonstrating your skills and experience are critical for survival in the workplace.
Based on my experience, if we are sincere and work tirelessly, we will succeed. However, it requires time, energy, patience, and good mental health. But it’s worthwhile, especially if you enjoy your job or have nowhere else to go.
Some friends believe that dealing with it is too risky, so they choose to follow the rules and habits established by their colleagues, even if those rules and habits are no longer effective or relevant.
How about you?
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